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Attuned Family Therapy

Attunement in music is a familiar experience to many—when tuning an instrument, we hear that the closer two tones are to the same frequency, the more discordant they sound, until they become attuned. This can be true in human relationships as well. Sometimes two people who are very close to meeting each other’s needs will experience increasing conflict, and a small adjustment on the part of one or both can bring them into resonance.

Attunement between human beings can feel like mutual understanding, empathy, and being “seen” for who we really are. The more attuned each person is to the other, the more that relationship can meet our needs and sustain us. The level of attunement our parents had with us as young children has a profound effect on the kinds of relationships we can create as teens and adults.

1058399 ©MarzannaSyncerzDreamstime.jpg

©Marzanna Syncerz

Every person begins life as a member of some kind of family. The qualities of the family we started in are an essential part of who we become, and often shape the families we have today. Regardless of whether a person seeks counseling in the context of individual mental health, parenting struggles or relationship stress, a family orientation in therapy can be helpful in changing patterns inherited from the past and creating the families we want to have, whether biological, adopted, or chosen. For people who struggle with connecting with others, learning to increase attunement in relationships—friends, family members, and romantic partners—can help unlock the mysteries of healthy relating.

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